The hall of Mirrors

The life I lead just did a 365 degree rotation around itself.

I just got back from Philia two nights ago. I was there to lead, and facilitate a Womb Healing retreat for thirteen women at Teal Swan’s request. It is still wondrous how this happened, and that it was happening to me.

I thought I was there to mostly facilitate an opening into creative process, and although I was prepared for some trauma to arise, I had not really known the extent of what I was about to face.

Shortly after the retreat began and everyone was introduced I could not help but notice that there was at least one woman representing each generation. There was a mix of woman in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.  I sensed that this was not random at all.

The work was intense, the land was powerful, and the days blended into each other.

I chose some guided meditations, and simple yoga flow with a sprinkle of breath work to assist in the release of what has been suppressed through  the many generations.  Philia staff, and team was on site to assist with the Completion Process when needed, and it sure was needed.

Little did I know what was in store for me!

It didn’t take too long before it felt like I was in a hall of mirrors. I was face to face with myself, and no-where to go but within.  All these versions of myself began to emerge in the faces of the women I was holding space for, faces of me during different times of my life.  The more I looked, and was willing to stay and not run, the more I was able to see.  It felt like I had taken plant medicine but that medicine was the Feminine in all her power, and all her brokenness come to pay me a visit or two. The wildest thing is that I did not break down, not even once.

These generations that were reflecting my mirrors were echos of my past, and distant calls from my ancestors but maybe not just my ancestors, all our ancestors, also perhaps the future…

It is not news that the Feminine has been injured. Disrespect, and violation to the Feminine have been going on for centuries,  in many cultures, and many ways, and have been accepted as normal social ways of being.

It is no wonder Teal remarked on the last day of the retreat “the Divine Feminine is not rising“, how on earth can she rise with so much hurt? She maybe trying to rise, yet the need to heal  is more pertinent now for her than it is to rise.

The patterns that bind must be cut through, and burned. There is no other way.

The way to cut through is in the answer to: what were the mirrors  showing me?

To trust more

To connect more

To not lose myself in connection

To release ALL expectations as they are only programs of society

To have and stick with my boundaries

To trust my gut

To ask for what I need

To speak my truth

To be proactive NOT passive

To not take anything personally

We as women cannot afford to sit and watch anymore, we cannot be silent.  And when I say this I don’t mean go out and protest in the streets because that is not what is required.  It maybe helpful in some small way but there is more deeper, and difficult work that is needed.  We must come face to face with these mirrors.

What is required is for every woman to take serious inventory of all the times she was mistreated, abused, harassed, objectified, violated in any way shape or form, belittled, manipulated, controlled, silenced, shamed, guilted, treated like dirt because she menstruates, been a victim of misogyny… and the list goes on, each woman must look at all this, and understand it’s lesson, that this has nothing to do with her personally,  and once that is deeply understood then she can release it forever.  It will take time, but is so worth the effort.  I say this from experience.  It is not just some metaphysical mambo jambo.

Every man is required to do the same in finding all those instances where his masculine had caused these things knowingly or unknowingly and learn the lessons they offer, the programs he was made to believe -subconsciously in most instances -about himself, and her, and release them…

Only then will the Divine Feminine be able to rise as it needs, and must.

There is no other way.

You can be a feminist all you want but not when you try so hard to be so masculine. That will never liberate you. Standing powerful in your femininity is your saving grace.

You were born with a strength, and power so secret, giving birth is your mystery, and your holy grail.  Never lose sight of that.