Death to Taboo

I have been toying with the idea of a post about death for several years now.  I wrote one earlier this year and never posted it.  It ended up being a personal revelation I had which I do not wish to publicly write about at this time. However, I am sure you will hear a thing or two about it if you were ever to go on retreat with me.
Death is all around us whether we choose to see it or not. We can turn a blind eye to it, or embrace it just as we embrace birth.

Fear of Annihilation

So many of us , in-fact the majority, grew up fearing death and dying.
What if we took a few steps back and looked at it from a different perspective? What if we approached it in a different way?

We spend our life trying to preserve ourself staying healthy, fit, doing check ups. Some of us may manage to live for decades and others may not be as lucky, or so we think. No matter what we do no one has managed to stay alive eternally.  Isn’t this telling?  Isn’t this a phenomenon worth noting?

We begin to die the moment we are born.  In other words, there is no birth without death.  There is something in us that we shed and something new emerges in its place. Death is a renewal. Even the cells in our body and all our organs renew completely every seven years. We are never the same person from moment to moment as even our psyche is constantly shifting and changing, constantly in flux.

What is this fear really about ? I have been asking myself this question for sometime now and I believe I finally have some sort of an answer.

It is the fear of the unknown. That is it.  Combined with the ego, she, the ego, does not like to be ‘nothing’. Our ego fears annihilation. So if we manage to transcend the ego before we die, we have conquered death.  Imagine that?!  Isn’t that what mysticism is all about?


What an Idea: A Death Manual?

If someone handed us a manual that listed the steps of what will happen after we die, most likely some if not all this fear may dissolve. If you knew exactly what to expect, wouldn’t that put you at ease?
I personally would appreciate that very much. We have to learn to be okay with not knowing. The sad truth is we aren’t. We want to know now.  In an age where google, and SIRI have all the answers, perhaps they can help us out on this a bit? Ha!

The Pain

I mean yes of course there is pain. I am not bypassing this whatsoever,  and yes there is an aspect of sadness and grief for the loss of our loved ones.  I am not proposing we do not feel the pain.  I am proposing we change the story from a fear based myth to a more integral wisdom.
We don’t know anything until we experience it, it may serve us well to understand at a very early age that there are some things that remain  mysterious in life, no matter how much we want answers to them. It is the mystery that makes life such a magical place.

Taboos Must Die

When I was a little girl I was told that if I’m good, when I die my grave will expand and I’d be in the company of angels until judgment day,  and if I’m bad I will burn over and over for all eternity. What a story to tell a child. Right ? Even if there was truth to it, why does a child need to hear this? This is fear mongering. Every which way we turn we are fed some taboo story that does not serve our development, growth and evolution. It is high time we change these stories into more honest, truthful stories steeped with integrity and wisdom. Yes we need wisdom not superstition. I see an overlap with the stories we tell our children about sex. How can we expect not to have sex addicts, juvenile sex offenders, rapists and abusers in our world when we keep feeding them such lies? Why not tell them the truth?

It is time we re-write these taboos that have not served us for millennia. I sure have taken it upon myself to do just that. I am doing my share with my soon to be completed book on sex.  My focus is mainly sex as in the actual act. I have witnessed two extremes in two different cultures,  and I am looking for the balance.

Where can we find the balance with the stories about death and dying? Where can we help ease the pain of the beloveds left behind? What can we do to make such transitions simpler so that the grief can be experienced without the need to push it away? How can we be at peace with the way things are?

Celebrate the Gift of Life

My grandmother always said when her time comes she does not want anyone mourning her passing. Absolutely no one is allowed to wear black, instead she wanted us to wear white.  She wanted us to celebrate. As a child it was not difficult for me to understand what she was saying. Her words resonated with me on some level and yet I could not quite understand it as I heard two conflicting stories. Today I feel like I know what my grandmother was saying, at the end of life, celebrate that you had the chance to live. Celebrate the fullness of your experience rather than mourn the loss of it.
What a gift it is  to be able to be live even for one day.
What a gift to die to our ego.
What a gift to die to the things we do not want in our life.
What a gift it is to be given chance after chance at being alive.
What a gift it is to be recycled for some grand purpose or to become a tree or a rock.

As I write these last few words on this page, part of me cannot help but wonder about Jesus’s resurrection, a metaphor for the life of every single human being alive today.

Know Thy Self

Coming Out

I am a bit late for national coming out day, well I suppose it is never too late. I have to share something about me that maybe a surprise to most: I am Heyoka. (Pronounced: hey-o-ka).

It finally makes sense. I am an empath. One of the most powerful of my kind.  I cannot believe that it took me a lifetime to realize this.

You see when I was young, I would find myself getting really sad and emotional to the point of hiding in a corner when attending events. I would sit there and ball my eyes out. This always left me wondering how come I was so happy to be going to this wonderful event and suddenly getting so sad and emotional over nothing that I can really identify. I never could explain this mystery up until recently.  It has been a few years now that I have known I am intuitive and empathic.  I finally allowed myself to really know myself and the the knowing hit me suddenly and my entire life made sense in that one moment of clarity.  All those emotionally charged moments of my life didn’t seem so bizarre anymore.

I recall one of my teachers writing in my grade book in elementary school: seems to cry for no real reason. Looking back, I am sure I was sensing into someone else’s pain. There was a very valid reason, and perhaps many reasons. No one cries for no reason! It never occurred to me that others cannot feel as I did. I thought that part of being human meant you felt so deeply.

These sensitivities seem to have become magnified as I have acknowledged them, which is really helpful when I am in a Metaphysical Anatomy Technique session and trying to assist someone who is completely oblivious to their pain. I can read into what is not being said. I recently attended a talk by Thomas Hübl in which he said that as therapists and healers we must find the hidden pain that is not spoken. Well, I have great news, I have been doing that all my life!

Unquestionable traits

The funny thing about being an empath is that I do not choose who I am going to intuit. It just happens. I pick up on the emotional body mostly, and sometimes physical pain as well. I can even tell when my cats are hungry.

How I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am an empath:

I have been labeled as “too emotional” or overly sensitive.

I feel people’s feelings.

I am emotionally drained by crowds.

I cannot function without alone time.

Perfumes and chemicals are harsh on my system.

World news kills me.

I may come across as cold and distant.

I easily become an emotional dumping ground.

The sun, and cold can really damage my skin.

It used to be difficult to know which emotions are mine and which are not, however, over the years I have learned to tell the difference. So please think twice before telling me “this is your stuff” it absolutely is not. Most of the time, in large groups, I am acting as a mirror. Sometimes while completely oblivious to it myself.

The Curse of a Gift

I have been given the gift (or curse) of sensing the motivations, and intentions of others. I can read and feel emotions on an energetic level. I also sense physical pain. This is a gift because it helps me with trauma release sessions, however when I do not wish to feel, and I am on break is when it is a curse infringing on my sacred alone time.

They say being an empath is a double edged sword. On the one hand, it is what helps me know what a group needs in a yoga class, it allows me to feel the needs of my children and loved one’s. It allows me to be gentle with those who cross my path, because of an inner knowing of their struggles. On the other hand, if I forget to protect myself, my emotions will become turbulent, I can become depressed for days and sometimes months and begin to isolate myself. The world can get very dark very fast.


My system is like a sponge. I literally take on energies and emotions that if I had the choice to not take on, I would seriously not. As an empath it is important I set boundaries, say no when I mean no and yes when I mean yes. There is no grey area when it comes to that. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. It really took me a long time to understand this about myself. This is why we do inner work. To find ourselves and know ourselves like no other person can. The more I know myself, the more I love myself. Not in a narcissistic kind of way, just in an awestruck, humble, yummy deep I love you Suzy sort of way.

Sacred Clown

I have been reading everything I can get my hands on about heyoka also known as a sacred clown, or trickster. I find tremendous solace in words like these. I have always been overly sensitive to the misuse of power, and since our world is replete with it, you can understand why I may look miserable on most days. This quote says it all:

The main function of a sacred clown is to deflate the ego of power by reminding those in power of their own fallibility, while also reminding those who are not in power that power has the potential to corrupt if not balanced with other forces, namely with humor – Gary Z. McGee

It is not about me

I am saddened by the fact that hunger, slavery, and wars still exist in the 21st century. These things weigh heavily on my heart if I allow myself to dwell on them. I have to find the balance between feeling too much and too little.

So yes, please, this is not about me, especially not at this time in my life. I have always felt the pain of the world and felt helpless at trying to alleviate it. I realize I was made to be of service just please try not to trample on my giving heart.
When you find me doing things contrary to social expectations and norms, I am actually trying to show you something you may not see otherwise.

We all are empathic and intuitive to some degree. Whatever degree it is, we are born with it. It is not a skill that we acquire. It is something present in our DNA. Here’s how you can find out how much of an empath you are:
Can you guess what I scored?