Suzy Adra’s Blog

The hall of Mirrors

The life I lead just did a 365 degree rotation around itself.

I just got back from Philia two nights ago. I was there to lead, and facilitate a Womb Healing retreat for thirteen women at Teal Swan’s request. It is still wondrous how this happened, and that it was happening to me.

I thought I was there to mostly facilitate an opening into creative process, and although I was prepared for some trauma to arise, I had not really known the extent of what I was about to face.

Shortly after the retreat began and everyone was introduced I could not help but notice that there was at least one woman representing each generation. There was a mix of woman in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.  I sensed that this was not random at all.

The work was intense, the land was powerful, and the days blended into each other.

I chose some guided meditations, and simple yoga flow with a sprinkle of breath work to assist in the release of what has been suppressed through  the many generations.  Philia staff, and team was on site to assist with the Completion Process when needed, and it sure was needed.

Little did I know what was in store for me!

It didn’t take too long before it felt like I was in a hall of mirrors. I was face to face with myself, and no-where to go but within.  All these versions of myself began to emerge in the faces of the women I was holding space for, faces of me during different times of my life.  The more I looked, and was willing to stay and not run, the more I was able to see.  It felt like I had taken plant medicine but that medicine was the Feminine in all her power, and all her brokenness come to pay me a visit or two. The wildest thing is that I did not break down, not even once.

These generations that were reflecting my mirrors were echos of my past, and distant calls from my ancestors but maybe not just my ancestors, all our ancestors, also perhaps the future…

It is not news that the Feminine has been injured. Disrespect, and violation to the Feminine have been going on for centuries,  in many cultures, and many ways, and have been accepted as normal social ways of being.

It is no wonder Teal remarked on the last day of the retreat “the Divine Feminine is not rising“, how on earth can she rise with so much hurt? She maybe trying to rise, yet the need to heal  is more pertinent now for her than it is to rise.

The patterns that bind must be cut through, and burned. There is no other way.

The way to cut through is in the answer to: what were the mirrors  showing me?

To trust more

To connect more

To not lose myself in connection

To release ALL expectations as they are only programs of society

To have and stick with my boundaries

To trust my gut

To ask for what I need

To speak my truth

To be proactive NOT passive

To not take anything personally

We as women cannot afford to sit and watch anymore, we cannot be silent.  And when I say this I don’t mean go out and protest in the streets because that is not what is required.  It maybe helpful in some small way but there is more deeper, and difficult work that is needed.  We must come face to face with these mirrors.

What is required is for every woman to take serious inventory of all the times she was mistreated, abused, harassed, objectified, violated in any way shape or form, belittled, manipulated, controlled, silenced, shamed, guilted, treated like dirt because she menstruates, been a victim of misogyny… and the list goes on, each woman must look at all this, and understand it’s lesson, that this has nothing to do with her personally,  and once that is deeply understood then she can release it forever.  It will take time, but is so worth the effort.  I say this from experience.  It is not just some metaphysical mambo jambo.

Every man is required to do the same in finding all those instances where his masculine had caused these things knowingly or unknowingly and learn the lessons they offer, the programs he was made to believe -subconsciously in most instances -about himself, and her, and release them…

Only then will the Divine Feminine be able to rise as it needs, and must.

There is no other way.

You can be a feminist all you want but not when you try so hard to be so masculine. That will never liberate you. Standing powerful in your femininity is your saving grace.

You were born with a strength, and power so secret, giving birth is your mystery, and your holy grail.  Never lose sight of that.




Reflections on Oneness and Duality

The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one’s narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one. The opposite pole to narcissism is objectivity, it is the faculty to see other people and things as they are, objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one’s desires and fears. ~ Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

I stumbled across this quote just last night, and in a flash of insight many questions I had were suddenly answered.

I have been reflecting on the inner, and outer worlds a lot lately. The mystical notion of “as within, so without” that whatever exists within us also exists around us, or is reflected in our environment, and relationships.

I recalled that Almine writes in her book “The Bridge of No Time” that the inner world is where we are able to explore oneness, and the outer world is how we explore duality.

The interesting thing that struck me about the quote is that within each pole the inner, and outer there are other poles, and each pole does NOT imply lesser or more, nor does it imply better or worse. Within the oneness, there is a tendency to narcissistic ways of being, and within the outer world, the world of duality, we learn about objectivity. Inner teaches us about ourself, the outer teaches us about others. They are both equally necessary.

Yes indeed, now it is no longer a theory, I SEE how both polarities are necessary. I also see how it is easy to polarize into one or the other. I see the consequences of over polarization.

It is true it felt like a moment of revelation to me, yet with the answers, some more questions emerged. Is it possible to never be polarized into anyone pole? Is there such a thing as maintaining the balance between the two poles? Does this mean that to reach a non-dual state we must just focus on the inner world?

I shall leave these questions be for the moment, resting, and trusting that if they are meant to be known the answers will some day be shown.

Water is the Feminine

Blogging has definitely been on my mind for some time now.  The only thing is I have been feeling very ADD with all that’s happening in the world today.  I wrote a few pieces and never got around to finishing them.  Between the situation in Syria, ISIS, the recent US elections, the North Dakota pipeline, and today’s headline story in Ohio, it is no wonder I have been feeling so scattered. I am sure I am not alone.

I finally realized that there is just this one issue that has been front, and center for me that brings up really strong emotions in a variety of ways. Not that I have no feelings about the other issues, because I do. This is the pipeline I am talking about.  I feel strongly about clean water for sure, and more than that I feel strongly about hurting humans let alone who are peacefully protesting for a simple human right.  Not only this I feel strongly about the fact that water is a basic human need.  I feel strongly that the ancient wisdom of all Native tribes is worth much more than a pipeline.  Mostly, I feel strongly that there is definitely a more peaceful way to resolve this situation.  Aggression is never the answer.  Yet sadly, this is mostly how our world functions today.  There’s more to this…

As I write this piece I realize that there is a deeper reason for why I am gravitating towards this issue.  This is not because all the other issues are minor, on the contrary. I think they are all deserving of attention.  No, it’s not that in a past life I was Native American (although that would surely be an honor), nor is it that I feel obligated to stand with Standing Rock because it’s the cool thing to do ( I suppose it is in a way).  Rather it seems that the reason is much deeper, and has something to do with my being human with a strong connection to the power of my Sacred Womb. I am a human who is done with the outdated ways of the patriarchy and is hopeful for a new world order built on something like Riane Eisler’s model of partnership.  I want Riane for president.

Since I am so much into learning about the unseen worlds, I am trying to grasp the situation  from a metaphysical perspective. I probably will need more time to figure it all out, but what I do know is that water is associated with womb energy.  The womb is feminine energy, and the womb creates life. The main ingredient for life in the womb is water. Water is life.  Water is the feminine.

I made a conscious decision a few days ago that the best thing I can do in the place I find myself in is to tend to my own sacred womb.  I am being the change I want to see in the world.  Strengthening, blessing, purifying, and grounding myself in my divine feminine essence. My center of power.  This is certainly not just a practice for women.  I encourage all humanity to develop such a practice.  It seems to me to be a great first step out of our outdated patriarchal programs.

Even if you are male, you have a womb presence as part of your subtle body.  It is the center of all creativity. It is the place where we “bake” all our dreams, imaginings, and wants in life.    It is not only a place of creation but the womb is also like a sponge.  It absorbs energies from all over the place and therefore requires a lot of attention and care.  The womb correlates with three of our chakras the root, navel, and solar plexus chakras are all a part of the womb. Physically it is the entire pelvic cavity. For anyone who may have had surgery in this part of their body, you would be happy to know that you still possess that creative ability with or without the physical aspect.  You still have a Sacred Womb.

Like everything else in this universe, there are certainly metaphysical layers to the situation in North Dakota that I have been reflecting on, and maybe more that will emerge later.

The first layer is the underlying universal laws that control this universe which Mahayana Buddhism would call “mystic” or “myoho”, Muslims would say this is “mawaraiyat” or “that which is hidden from human sight”. There are correlates in all mystical traditions which I will most likely be blogging about in future posts.

The second layer is that we are a mini reflection of the earth mother.  Her womb energy lives in us. It always comes back to doing our own self work so it can reflect back to us through the larger perspective.

The third layer is that this is most definitely yet another sign of the Divine Feminine attempting to rise.  Just a day ago, the women came together at Standing Rock to show how it is possible to lead from a heart centered place of PEACE, and that there is no reason to resort to violence.  All it really takes is standing in the powerful sacred womb space.  This can be everyone, not just women.  Everyone can connect to that space.  It is “myoho” in and of itself.

I leave you with grace to reflect on this, and perhaps more layers will be revealed to you.